We've Got Our Obsessions
by timelording
Summary: The first time it happened was an accident. Honestly. You were both drunk, and higher than a kite, and heat of the moment seized you, so you kissed her.


**A/N:** Oops I ship the clones sorry not sorry

**Disclaimer:** Orphan Black and any of its characters, plot ideas, or otherwise do not belong to me so get out of my face

* * *

It's wrong.

It's wrong and immoral (not that you've ever really been one for following a moral code) and narcissistic and fucking _weird_, if you're totally honest with yourself. But one thing you've always been good at is ignoring the truth when it hurts, and it's a skill that comes in handy in a situation such as this one.

A situation such as (regularly) fucking your genetically identical clone.

The first time it happened was an accident. Honestly. You were both drunk, and higher than a kite, and heat of the moment seized you, so you kissed her. You were surprised when she kissed back, and then suddenly your clothes were strewn across Felix's flat, and you were panting against her neck, and coming hard against her hand.

She was gone when you woke up draped in a blanket on Felix's couch, with a splitting headache and a crystal clear recollection of all that had happened the night before.

She left a note on the coffee table. (_Delphine called, she came to see me. I'll be back later tonight. x Cos). _

You didn't tell Felix.

You made sure to be gone when she got back to Felix's flat. You didn't come home until fifteen minutes shy of three a.m. She was curled up fast asleep in Felix's big guest bed, red comforter wrapped tightly around her, possessively. You noted that it was exactly the same way you slept.

You glanced toward the couch, and then decided that the bed would be infinitely more comfortable, even if you had to share it with the clone you'd had steaming, if highly intoxicated sex with on the couch. You quickly peeled off your layers of clothing, leaving only your t-shirt and underwear, and yanked the covers from her to spread it over the both of you.

The second time was not an accident. It was entirely intentional.

You woke up to the smell of coffee and the sound of Felix's shower singing. You sat up and rubbed your eyes sleepily, a yawn peeling out of you.

"Morning, sleepy head," she said cheerfully from the kitchen, cup of coffee in hand. You just grunted incoherently and shuffled off to the bathroom.

"Shut up, Fe," you muttered over his aggressively loud opera as you brushed your teeth. He belted out profanities at you, and you threw the toothpaste at the shower curtain, earning you a shriek from him.

She handed you a cup of coffee while you rummaged through the fridge, and as you sipped it you realised she knew exactly how to fix your coffee. And then you realised it was because she _was_ you. Sort of.

"I have to go out today, but I should be back in a couple of hours," she told you as she pulled the strap of her bag over her shoulder. You set your mug down on the counter.

You told yourself it was just curiosity. No other motive behind it besides a need-to-know basis. You just wanted to know if, sober, you could still make her sing your name in the voice that was your own. You ignored the truth. (That what you really wanted was to hear her sing your name again in the voice that was your own, however creepy that might sound.) You had perfected the art of ignoring painful truths, remember?

So you grabbed her wrist as she passed by you on the way to the door. Her bare skin on your fingertips felt like electricity. You wondered if maybe, given your genetic similarities, prolonged contact between the two of you would cause you to just meld into one person. You made a note to ask her one day if such a thing was possible.

"Cosima," you said, eyes locked with hers.

"Yes, Sarah?" she asked, eyes wide, and pupils dilated.

You didn't answer, just spun her around and shoved her against the refrigerator door, magnets scattering across the floor as her body dislodged them. Your lips attacked hers without warning, crashing wildly together with hers. Her lips moved furiously against yours, and her chest heaved against your own. Your lips moved to press sloppy kisses to her neck.

"Felix- shower-" she managed to gasp out.

"So we'd better make this quick, then, eh?" You said between nipping on her neck. She whimpered, and you ripped her bag off her shoulder with one hand, other hand sliding deftly down the front of her long wavy skirt and into her panties. You wasted no time in pressing your fingers firmly down onto her clit, causing her hips to jerk violently, and a rough gasp to erupt from her throat. Your own breath caught in your throat, and you pressed your body closer against her arched one, entranced by her exposed neck. You slid your fingers down quickly to her opening, circling only twice before plunging two fingers inside her. She let out a low, load moan, and her fingers found their way up the back of your shirt, fingernails scratching you lightly. You shivered, and began pumping your fingers in and out slowly. You took your other hand and hitched her leg up around your waist, and she let out another moan.

She pulled your face close and put her lips to your ear. "What happened to 'let's make this quick'?" she asked in a ragged breath. You grinned devilishly and nipped at her neck as you worked your hand faster, fingers flashing in and out of her. Her hips began to buck against your hand and bump against your own, and you moaned against her neck, the slight friction sending your senses haywire.

"_God_," she whispered raggedly as your fingers curled roughly inside her.

"No, no," you rasped against her collarbone, forehead pressed to her neck. "That's not my name."

Her fingernails scratched themselves back down your back and you moaned again. Her arms wrapped around your neck and pulled you close, and you curled your fingers again. "_Sarah_," she hissed out between her teeth.

"Now you've got it," you murmured, and curled your fingers one more time. You felt her tighten around your fingers, and with one final thrust of her hips as your thumb pressed down on her clit again, she came with a loud cry of your name, back arching and then thumping heavily against the refrigerator door. You held her up as she rode it out against your hand, your tongue tracing the line of her jaw.

She left soon after that, with a quick kiss to your lips and a passing grin on her way out the door. "See you later," she sang over her shoulder down the hallway.

You told Felix once he was out of the shower. He hadn't heard a thing over his own loud falsetto Chris Brown impression.

"Well, I guess now when I tell you to go fuck yourself, you won't mind it," he said sarcastically. You kicked him off the couch.

The third time was in the shower in Beth's apartment.

You lost count after the fourth time (which was on Alison's bed, but you'd both sworn not to tell her, ever, for fear of her heart actually stopping right in front of you).

After you'd begun to lose count, it began to change for you. It transformed from _fucking_ your clone, to _making love_ to your clone. And that terrified you, because you weren't sure if it had changed for her as well. To her, you could be just another lay.

Felix told you to just tell her. So you did.

As she whimpered and moaned beneath you, you whispered the words.

"_I love you_."

Her body stilled beneath your touch. "What?" she whispered back. You leaned down and kissed her gently, and began slowly trailing your lips down her neck, across her collar bone, across the slope of her breast. You whispered the words into her skin, making them feather light breaths over her body. Goosebumps erupted on her skin at your cool breath, and you were fascinated by them. You trailed a finger down her stomach as you looked back up into her eyes.

"_I love you_," you whispered again, and she was silent for a heart wrenching moment.

"_I think it must be in my genetic coding to love you, Sarah, because nothing has ever felt this right before_," she finally said, whispering the confession hoarsely.

Your heart thumped heavily in your chest and your breath caught in your throat and you were terrified. So you leaned down and captured her lips with your own, a slow burn making its way from the core of you, to the very tips of all your extremities. You broke the kiss for a moment to mutter, "You're such a dork, Cos." She laughed lightly. "Shut up and just fuck me, Sarah," she said.

As she writhed beneath you, you remembered the idea you'd had, about whether or not prolonged contact could fuse the two of you together as one. You decided not to ask her. You'd already found the answer.


End file.
